Thursday, February 09, 2006

Lead on by the plumber

The plumber neither rang nor called. The house is still cold. Very cold - so have all the scientists got it wrong about global warming? Well it's not warming up in this part of the world I can tell you!

When I get home following a night shift the first thing I do is make a cup of tea. The kettle would not boil fast enough this morning. I then put the fire on. It suited me. It's one of those real flame jobbies that looks good but unless you are standing directly in front of it with your jumper pulled out so the heat goes directly up it, it's neither use nor ornament. So I made some porridge in the vain hope it would create central heating on the inside. All those Scottish folk tossing cabers must have it right?

Now the plumber said that he would ring before he came round, so I thought that if I went to bed there was no chance of hearing the phone let alone the door bell if I was dead to the world. The plan therefore was to snuggle down with the blue blanket (a long story) on the sofa as close to the fire as I could get without activating the smoke alarm. The dog thought it was fun! I ate the porridge (struggle) and drank the tea and did the snuggling bit. By the time I was settled it was about 8am. And I went to sleep only to wake at 10 to go to the loo. I tried in vane to find the comfy spot I had originally found but sleep now eluded me (down to e's in the dictionary). By half seven this evening I had given up hope of the plumbers call. Baldrick (bless him) now informs me that he had said Thursday OR Friday and could even be Saturday when he was going to 'take a look' at the boiler. Fab. I now have to remain indoors just incase this guy decides to call. And still I don't feel tired. .............. I bet I do in the morning!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Cold - Colder - Coldest

Today I am mostly playing catch up. Two 12 hours days has one knackered. Am on nights tonight and hoped for a couple of hours shuteye, but no such luck. The bloke next door has recently had a block paved driveway created and I thought they had finished it. Oh no - they arrived about lunch time with a little digger to dig up the rest of the lawn and finish the path down the side.. Bring on the boys with toys. First of all the bloke in charge gets on the digger. He plays for a little while trying to get to grips with the forward/reverse until he finds the thing that spins it round. OOO much time was spent then going backwards and forwards spinning round. This is of course whilst the other three guys stand with hands on hips whooping with glee and shouting instruction to him. Bring on the digger driver. He arrives in a van and parks across our driveway. Now ordinarily this would not bother me but somehow today I find it mildly irritating. Anyway, I continue to watch from the safety of my icecube of a house (the heating has packed up and the only time the plumber can come and 'have a look' is tomorrow sometime so I can't go to bed til he's been - I am chuffing freezin'. I digress) as I consider myself an interested party. So now it's down tools and cup of tea time. The digger driver suitably refreshed gives them all a lesson in how to drive the monster bobcat. And then they get to work shifting the soil. But no! Something is terribly wrong. What can it be. They've downed tools. It seems they've only just discovered that the skip isnt here for the removed soil! Der. After another cup of tea the skip arrives and much tooing and froing and revving was done to position the skip correctly. Satisfied that it was in the right place, the skip wagon went forth and work resumed.

At this point I went into the greenhouse (it seems to be the warmest place today) and created the seed den. Now I'm pretty pleased with one even if I do say do myself. Baldrick said I would need help and that we would do it on Sunday (the greenhouse - nothing else I can assure you all) but impatient little me (yes - I admit to being the one to poke fingers into plant pots and munjel about trying to find signs of life after having planted seeds a couple of days before) decided that it had to be done and done now. And it was good. It's a pity that I dont have one of those digital cameras to post photos (I'd have no idea what to get even if I did go and get one) as I'm sure you would be impressed. I've created a sort of capsule in big bubble wrap, floor to ceiling all tucked in at the bottom and attached to the roof at the top (stating the bleeding obvious if its floor to ceiling init?) and in there its got a table now with the seeds on, a heater and a thermometer to make sure it gets a bit warmer. And no he's not having the spare bubble wrap to roll about on the floor in. Eeee what's he like? (I'm sure I remember watching a soft porn film many many years ago and they did something similar - but it could have been clingfilm.....racks memory........perhaps too much........... no we'll leave that one).

So right now the boys from the black stuff are playing with a stihl saw (a circular saw for cutting stone etc). They are all wearing masks with no goggles so they can breathe but none of them can see for the brick dust! And just as I speak an 8 wheeler turns up to tip something ....... just let me go and have a look and see what it is........ golden gravel. Now I don't know about you but if you lay an expensive looking red block drive why would you put golden gravel next to it? Am I bitching? I know - I'm sorry. I do however have it on good authority that red gravel is more expensive than gold. But I also know that the guy next door has just finished a considerable stint in the RAF and must have had a mega payout. We got a letter from the council last week asking if we had any objections to the exRAF guy building a conservatory - so it seems that is the next project. And they have no mortgage now... And they have another house they rent out... And on top of that they have a place in Cyprus (and can you believe they put a price list for it in this years Christmas card)! I am looking forward to my meagre retirement payout from the NHS!!!!!!! But don't get me started on that.

The upshot of my ramblings is that it has been too noisy to sleep and is now too late to try. I think I'll go for a bath - sugar - will have to wait for the immersion heater - I forgot - no boiler!

Friday, February 03, 2006

The trouble with electric is......

Now it's probably looking to all you professional allotmenters out there that this is a fly by the seat of your pants kind of set up - and you could be right. The cable is still in place (the birds think it's great as a perch) and the green house is getting all lovely and warm. My main concern is how much these damned onions are going to cost in the long run? I have ventured out the greenhouse three times today and not once I tell you has that electric heater been clicked off! So how much electicity this heater is using is anyones guess. Should I bring them into the house? Shall I leave them in situ in the vain hope that the heat gets to 18degs in there - the optimum germination temperature? But we have designed a cunning plan - we are going to buy some MORE big bubble wrap and are going to make a little compartment in the greenhouse for germination. I'm not too convinced that baldricks plan will work. For one we are still heating a glass house - insulation minimal - other than the bubble wrap. And (never start a sentence with and) two it reduces the amount we can germinate at any one time. I said that we should have had a propogator....didn't I say....well? Oh no baldrick knows best. So here we are plugged into the national grid for our costapacket onions. They had better be good.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

What a start!

Oh yeah - just get started with this blog and what happens? I invite friends round for sunday lunch and have to move the new computer off the dining room table and take it upstairs - where there is the old computer and I have to dismantle that before I can put the new one in place - and then the telephone extension cable isn't long enough - out to the computer shop and get a longer one - I then discover (too late) that the cable I have purchased (and of course taken out of the wrapper and it being bin day, thought I was doing right by running out and putting said wrapper in the bin as the bin men arrive) does not allow me to use the phone and the computer at the same time. You may mock but it has just taken me four days to get back on line ....... and then its not as good as it should be. Yep I got the tower block type of computer and a whacking great monitor..... and printer etc and does it fit onto the desk I have - you can bet your lily white ass it doesn't - so here am I (reminds me of a joke I once heard a long long time ago.....) perched on a chair at a funny angle straining my neck to write for my public. Not that anyone has bothered to pop round. Teapot at the ready, freshly baked scones, strumming fingers on worktop. Well thats ok - it's early days yet. I suppose I ought to let someone know then word gets about - know what I mean? I tell you its a conspiracy.

Anyway - to let you know the reason for this blog. Harrumph (clears throat and adjusts knickers) Its because we have an allotment - there I've said it. I have read quite a few blogs to do with allotments and ... well... I thought I'd like to join in. Please? Can I? Unsure about the digging and such but I can write about it. This weekend saw the great bubble wrap game. Why is it that for the last four years we have bubblewrapped the inner sanctum of the greenhouse and each time we have had to go and buy more? It should fit shouldn't it? It bleedin' well should but it doesn't. Swear and curse etc and its done at last - with the help of parcel tape. So the onions are in as are the tomatoes and peppers. It's never simple though is it? Last year (I refer to christmas 2004) Santa brought a greenhouse heater. This year we decided to use it! So off to the DIY for an extension cable (this time electrical) But imagine my surprise when he arrived home with 25m of cable with no plugs? Oh dont worry I can put electric in the greenhouse I heard him cry from the depths of the garage - and, armed with little more than a screw driver - he went and did as he said he would. Although it took some time and alot of cursing (particularly when he cut the wrong length of cable so instead of being hidden around the perimeter of the garden, its like a tightrope up the path. Anyway the upshot of it is it works (for now). We wait with baited breath - I shall report back when there have been developments. Stay tuned.